I see her suffering, her pain. It hurts me too. It weighs on me, and I just want to rescue her.
“You can’t be her savior.”
My mom’s words blew me away.
A weight came off my shoulders, and my tears spilled over.
I resolved a year ago that my life goal is to be there for people. I want to be that shoulder to cry on, that smile to brighten the day, and the person to speak a sentence that makes her feel she’s worth it.
But with all the good intentions, I also tend to take on an unbearable burden. In wanting to support others, I also fall into the trap of trying to save them.
I want to make that girl know she’s worth it. I want my friend to stop hurting herself. I want that kid to be ok. But if I try to save them or “fix” their problems, I’ve realized my actions are much more unhelpful than I intend.
Rather than supporting them and listening, I help them “solve the problem”. Rather than pointing them to Christ, I try to be their messiah.
But people don’t need us to rescue them. They need us to listen, and they need a Savior who can really, truly save them.
Listening and Praying
Ultimately, I am not talking to my friends to give them advice. Rather, I’m just there to love them and point them to the Reason I love them. I know I can’t save my friends, so instead I must
- Cry with them/Give a hug.
- Pray with them.
I think that final step is absolutely key. Sadly, the third step has not made it into my conversations, but I want it to become a habit. If I sympathize and show love but don’t share anything about my Savior, I leave out the most important thing: hope.
Pointing Them to the Savior
Though we cannot save our friends/loved ones, Christ can. He is the best Savior, King, and Friend of all, and He is ready to take every burden that they carry (and every burden we carry for them). He is the only one who can bring them everlasting hope and life.
Instead of trying to save our friends, let’s start praying with them.
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