It seems like there is so much I have to do. I don’t know… I’m just really confused. And I get scared when I don’t feel that I love you (from my old prayer journal).
What if I grow up and fall away from Christ? What if pressures, problems, and persecution make me stop following Him and stop believing?

Worries like these have plagued me for years. I truly believe that I cannot lose my salvation, but I’ve always worried that I would eventually fall away from my faith. I’ve worried that once trials and physical persecution come, I will abandon Christ. But I heard a Bible verse in church last week that made me stop and think.
“Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God’s kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off.”
Romans 11:22
In the first 31 verses of this chapter, the author of Romans writes about Israel’s “branches” being cut off and the Gentiles’ “branches” being grafted in, saying that the Gentiles should not think of Israel as lesser because they were cut off, but remember instead that God can cut off the Gentiles too. After this explanation comes the warning in verse 22. What stood out to me most is the qualifier in the verse. The author does not say “provided you don’t mess up” or “provided you have a lot of faith”, but he says “provided you continue in [God’s] kindness.”
Suggested: God Doesn’t Need You to ‘Just Try Harder‘

Over the last few years, I have discovered “the kindness of God.” For most of my life, I thought I had to muster up faith, humility, and obedience on my own. I failed over and over, while I swung between beating myself up for failing and patting myself on the back for every good thing that I did. Since I relied on myself for doing good things, both failure and praise landed on my shoulders, and since I relied on myself, I did not see my desperate need for the gospel. Furthermore, when I tried to “be good” on my own, I primarily felt God’s severity. I viewed him as a heavy taskmaster and never fully understood that he had covered me in his goodness by taking my punishment on the cross. I didn’t understand the implications of the gospel: that I sinned but Jesus payed the price. Christ only became my lifeline when I learned how to continue in God’s kindness by relying on him through prayer.
Suggested: Run to Jesus
Ultimately, following God has to do with relying on him every day of my life. I cannot muster up my own strength to face persecution, but rather I must pray for God to give me his strength. I cannot face temptation on my own, but instead I must pray for God to give me perseverance. I cannot obey (or want to obey) on my own, but I must pray for God to change my heart. I must “continue in his kindness.”

He changes my heart. He helps me obey. He makes me more like himself.
And I can trust him.
Sister, the kindness of God is greater than your sin. The kindness of God is greater than your temptation. The kindness of God is greater than your pride. The kindness of God is greater than your past.
And God wants you, today, to continue (or begin) in that kindness. Start right now by acknowledging you can’t be righteous on your own and praying for his salvation and help.
And you can be sure that he will answer.
Let’s Talk
Have you ever been afraid of walking away from God? Have you ever thought about “continuing under [God’s] kindness”?
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Suggested: Is God’s Grace Really Free?
Last Post: 5 Things I’m Doing this Summer That I’ve Never Done Before
I am so incredibly encouraged by this post! (long comment ahead I apologize in advance…) 2020 was one of the hardest years of my life for many reasons, we lost two very close family members, everything with covid happened, and then I entered into a toxic relationship I didn’t understand was toxic at the time, and so much more.
I am so sad to say that I lost my faith during that time. I quit relying on God and it showed in my actions, my words, and my choices. But I am so thankful that we serve a God who never gives up on us and continues to fight for us when we feel as far gone as we can be!
I have walked away from God. I would never recommend it to anyone in a million years, it is lonely and suffocating. What I’ve learned from this experience however is exactly what you said here; Jesus died on the cross for our sins, that is no light sacrifice. And because of that we are forgiven! Everything in our past, our present, and our future is wiped clean by the blood of Christ! And we need to believe in that and LIVE in God’s kindness! One thing that really stuck out to me was “Since I relied on myself for doing good things, both failure and praise landed on my shoulders, and since I relied on myself, I did not see my desperate need for the gospel.” And oh Rachel, the clarity that sentence gave me and the relief that it isn’t just me fighting and striving to give this all to God and let him show me his mercy and grace! You have given me such a huge blessing to just be able to read those words! The holy spirit is stirring something here!
So thank you so much again for sharing this, and your beautiful words of godly encouragement ❤ Have a wonderful night!
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Oh Allie, praise God that you read the right words at the right time. ♥ I’m so glad this resonated with you. Thank you for being so open and honest about your life; any girl stopping in the comment section is sure to find some encouragment in what you said. It’s also always encouraging to hear when people read my writing and find it encouraging. So thanks for taking the time to comment:) I hope you have an amazing rest of your day! God bless!
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I am so glad you think so! ❤ You are so gifted with words, keep up the amazing work! And of course anytime:)
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Did YOU take those pictures?! They are breathtaking!!! And great post, too. I have days when I feel the exact same way. But I love your statement that the kindness of God is greater than you sin. Really, when you think about it, thinking that you could never be “good enough” is doubting God’s grace and strength to change you.
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My dad actually took them! Aren’t they amazing?!! And thank you:). A huge part of the Christian journey is realizing we won’t be good enough but Christ is good enough for us and will make us more like him!!❤
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Exactly!
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I agree with you Hadassah. I couldn’t figure out how to like it.
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If you want to like a post, you have to create a WordPress account. 😉 but commenting is just as good (if not better!!)
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Thank you! ❤
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