It seems like there is so much I have to do. I don’t know… I’m just really confused. And I get scared when I don’t feel that I love you (from my old prayer journal).
What if I grow up and fall away from Christ? What if pressures, problems, and persecution make me stop following Him and stop believing?
Worries like these have plagued me for years. I truly believe that I cannot lose my salvation, but I’ve always worried that I would eventually fall away from my faith. I’ve worried that once trials and physical persecution come, I will abandon Christ. But I heard a Bible verse in church last week that made me stop and think.
“Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God’s kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off.”
In the first 31 verses of this chapter, the author of Romans writes about Israel’s “branches” being cut off and the Gentiles’ “branches” being grafted in, saying that the Gentiles should not think of Israel as lesser because they were cut off, but remember instead that God can cut off the Gentiles too. After this explanation comes the warning in verse 22. What stood out to me most is the qualifier in the verse. The author does not say “provided you don’t mess up” or “provided you have a lot of faith”, but he says “provided you continue in [God’s] kindness.”
Over the last few years, I have discovered “the kindness of God.” For most of my life, I thought I had to muster up faith, humility, and obedience on my own. I failed over and over, while I swung between beating myself up for failing and patting myself on the back for every good thing that I did. Since I relied on myself for doing good things, both failure and praise landed on my shoulders, and since I relied on myself, I did not see my desperate need for the gospel. Furthermore, when I tried to “be good” on my own, I primarily felt God’s severity. I viewed him as a heavy taskmaster and never fully understood that he had covered me in his goodness by taking my punishment on the cross. I didn’t understand the implications of the gospel: that I sinned but Jesus payed the price. Christ only became my lifeline when I learned how to continue in God’s kindness by relying on him through prayer.
Suggested: Run to Jesus
Ultimately, following God has to do with relying on him every day of my life. I cannot muster up my own strength to face persecution, but rather I must pray for God to give me his strength. I cannot face temptation on my own, but instead I must pray for God to give me perseverance. I cannot obey (or want to obey) on my own, but I must pray for God to change my heart. I must “continue in his kindness.”
He changes my heart. He helps me obey. He makes me more like himself.
And I can trust him.
Sister, the kindness of God is greater than your sin. The kindness of God is greater than your temptation. The kindness of God is greater than your pride. The kindness of God is greater than your past.
And God wants you, today, to continue (or begin) in that kindness. Start right now by acknowledging you can’t be righteous on your own and praying for his salvation and help.
And you can be sure that he will answer.
Have you ever been afraid of walking away from God? Have you ever thought about “continuing under [God’s] kindness”?
If you liked this post and would like to see more like it, sign up for my email list . Also, be sure to like, comment, and share!! If you haven’t checked out my podcast, check it out here or on Spotify! Love you guys! ❤
Suggested: Is God’s Grace Really Free?